Vader's Realistic Reactions
by Jesus' girl 4ever
Summary: Vader discovers that he has children. Sequel (and prequel, too) to "Luke's Realistic Reaction" and "Leia's Realistic Reaction."
1. A Son

**Vader's Realistic Reactions**

Disclaimer: I don't own.

 **Chapter 1: A Son**

Vader knelt before the hologram of the Emperor. "What is thy bidding, my master?"

"There is a great disturbance in the Force," Palpatine began.

"I have felt it," Vader replied.

"We have a new enemy, the young Rebel who destroyed the Death Star. I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker." He sneered.

Vader gasped in shock. "How is that possible? I killed Padmé, remember? How could I have a son when there has been no other woman since my Angel?"

"Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us," the Sith Lord hissed.

Vader tried to change the Emperor's mind on the amount of danger this Skywalker represented. "He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him."

"The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi," Palpatine reiterated.

"No. No, no, no, no. Master, I have killed many for you. I have killed the man I, many years ago, saw as my father. I have killed even my own wife, but I will not take part in killing my son." Vader froze, knowing he probably needed to restate that, seeing as how the Emperor has murdered many for much less of an insult. "However, I could foresee him turning to the Dark Side."

"True," Palpatine mused. "He would be a powerful ally on our side. Can it be done?"

"I will turn him, my master. I give you my word." The hologram winked out, and Vader stood, still reeling from shock. _My son is alive? Why have I never felt his presence before?_ After several moments of contemplation, though, he realized the answer. _Kenobi,_ he mentally growled, knowing that he was the only one who could have hidden his baby from him. _That doesn't matter now,_ he told himself. _All that matters is that I find my son and help him to see that the true power lies with the Dark Side._

"Admiral Piett!" Vader called as he exited the chamber. "Send out word for bounty hunters to come to the _Executor._ I have a new idea on how to find the _Millennium Falcon." And when I find the_ Falcon, _I will use those on board as bait to draw my son to me. My son, you will be mine._

 _A/N: Yeah, so this took forever, is short, and nowhere near as funny as the others, but still, here it is. I'm going to do a short chapter 2 where Vader discovers he has a daughter._


	2. A Daughter

**Vader's Realistic Reactions**

Disclaimer: I don't own.

 **Chapter 2: A Daughter**

Vader paced about, searching the shadows for his son. "You cannot hide forever, Luke," he growled.

"I will not fight you," the boy said from his position…wherever _that_ was.

Vader began to goad Luke, hoping to trick him into revealing himself. "Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister. Wait, you have a twin sister? Where did she come from?"

Luke blinked. _Not the reaction I was expecting…_

"I mean, one child was a shock enough, but two…. Two children! Twins!"

"Lord Vader! Regain control of yourself!" the Emperor barked as he approached the two.

Vader paused, thinking. "Hold on. You _lied to me!_ You told me Padmé was _dead!_ By _my hand!_ "

"She is, Lord Vader."

"Then _how_ did she live long enough to _deliver two babies?"_

"She lost the will to live, Vader."

"Oh, yes. Which she wouldn't have done if _you_ hadn't founded your stupid Empire!"

"You will pay for your insolence, Vader," Sidious ground out.

"No, I believe it is you who will pay." Vader whirled around and attacked his master, who countered with his own red blade. Luke watched in awe as the two Sith began to battle for dominance. "What am I doing? Father could use my help!" he muttered, leaping to catch up with them.

He quickly added his lightsaber to the fight, and the Emperor lifted his hand to stop him. Agony rippled through Luke's body as the Force lightning coursed through him.

However, the Emperor, in focusing on the young Jedi, forgot about the only other person in the room: the boy's father. Vader's lightsaber found Darth Sidious's heart, and the Sith fell dead. "Come, Luke. We must leave, now!"

Luke slowly pulled himself to his feet. "Father…."

The older man wrapped his arm around his son. "I've got you; come on." The two made their way to a nearby shuttle and promptly escaped. "So, ah, Luke, who exactly is your sister, anyway?"

"Well, um, about that…" Luke trailed off.

"Either you do not know, which I highly doubt, or she hates me." Suddenly, Anakin froze. "Don't tell me that she's Princess Leia."

"Then…what would you like me to tell you?"

He groaned. "Of all the girls in the galaxy, I was forced to personally torture my own daughter. That's Skywalker luck for you."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've kissed her."

"What?"

"We didn't know! The worst was when we were still on Hoth; Han had just saved me from a wampa, and Leia visited me in the medcenter. Han was there, too, and, well, they got into an argument. She got mad and kissed me to make him jealous."

"I bet she regrets that decision now."

"I'm certain she does. Of course, they've finally decided to admit that they're in love, so everything should be all right now."

" _What?"_

 _A/N: So, this should be slightly funnier than the last one. The next in "Realistic Reactions" will be "Han's Realistic Reaction," followed by "Vader" part three._


	3. A Future Son-in-law

**Vader's Realistic Reactions**

Disclaimer: I don't own.

 **Chapter 3: A Future Son-in-law**

Vader whirled to glare at his daughter. "Did Luke just allude to a future union between you and that-that-that smuggler?"

She returned the angry stare. "What does it matter to you if he did?"

"You are my daughter; I should think my opinion matters."

She smirked. "Well, it doesn't. At all."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Besides, didn't you already know he and I were in love? You were there, as I recall, when we kissed in the carbonite chamber. Oh, right, because you were the one freezing him in it."

"Leia, I thought that was a kiss born out of desperation, like…" He trailed off.

"Like what?"

"Like the first time your mother told me she loved me. We were both about to die-"

"But you didn't, and you married her. At least I assume you did."

He gripped her arm tightly. "Don't you dare doubt the love she and I shared. That is the one thing about my life I would never change. "

She yanked her arm free. "Sure, maybe. But anyway, if you married her, why would think Han and I wouldn't marry?"

"Honestly? He's not good enough for you."

She snorted. "Really? That's the best you've got?"

"He's a smuggler. You're a princess. That should be enough said."

"Right. And a woman-any woman, since I don't know who my mother was- and a Sith Lord weren't too far apart."

"No. We were too far apart. I should never have presumed to fall in love with her."

"But you did."

"Yes, and a former slave and, at that time, Jedi Padawan was a thousand parsecs away from a former queen and Senator."

Her voice softened, and her brow furrowed. "You were a slave?"

"Yes. But I don't need your pity."

"And I wasn't giving it. However, I hate slavery, no matter who the victim is, even if he might deserve it." Her scathing look informed him that, in her mind, he did indeed deserve it.

"I hate it as well. Sadly, the Emperor disagreed with us on that."

Leia thought about something else he had said. "Did you say Mom was a Senator?"

He smiled under his mask. "Yes. Actually," He gave her a calculating look, "you remind me of her."

"Really? Who was she?"

"Having been raised by Bail Organa, I'm sure you've heard of her. Her name was Padmé Amidala."

She gasped. "Padmé Amidala was my mother?"

"Yes, indeed she was."

"She's always been one of my political inspirations! Her work on the Declaration of 2,000, her opposition to so many of Palpatine's policies…" She stopped. "I'm boring you, aren't I?"

"Well…"

She laughed. "Sorry. I do that to Luke and Han, too."

He cocked his head. "What color is your hair?"

She gave him a confused look. "Brown…."

"And your eyes?"

"Also brown…Can't you see?"

"See, yes. However, everything is tinted red for me. I can no longer see colors."

"Oh," she whispered.

"I had to know that to tell you this: You look…" he gently took her chin in his hand. "exactly like your mother. It's remarkable, really."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do. You have her eyes, her hair, her…well, her height, her facial structure…even that fire in your eyes comes from her."

She bit her lip. "Out of pure curiosity, whose is the temper?"

He laughed. "I'm afraid that that would be mine." He hesitated. "What color is your brother's hair?"

"It used to be sandy blond, but it's darkened since he left Tatooine, and his eyes are blue."

He nodded. "So, there's a younger Padmé and a younger me loose…Force help the galaxy."

Leia couldn't help but laugh.

"Did he happen to inherit my temper, as well?"

"Afraid not. I'm the only one who got stuck with it."

"I'm sorry; I know how terrible it can be."

Somehow, Leia knew that he was apologizing for more than just his temper. She tried for several moments to respond, finally being able to say, "I forgive you."

Vader, too, knew that they were talking about more than simply inheriting an undesirable quality. He reached out and lightly squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you. And…for what it's worth, I knew that your smuggler would be all right. In the carbonite, I mean."

She smirked. "How would you know that?"

"I've been frozen in it myself."

"No way."

"Obi-Wan and I both were. Now, _that_ was a long time ago." He chuckled. "Actually, that was when I first met Tarkin."

She winced. "I'm sorry."

They exchanged glances before both began to laugh. Once they recovered their breath, she said, "You know, you might actually like Han if you gave him a chance."

"Perhaps. But I don't know if I could."

"He hates slavery, too."

"Truly?" Vader could see his perception of the man beginning to change.

"Yes. That's why he left the Empire, to rescue Chewie from slavery."

"Well, he has just earned a little more of my respect, it's true."

She tentatively reached for his hand. "Come on; let's go find the boys…F-Father."

He smiled and carefully wrapped his arm around. "Yes, let's do that."

That night, as the odd family consisting of a farmboy-turned-Jedi, a princess-turned-Senator-turned-Rebel-leader, a smuggler-turned-Rebel-general, a Wookie, two eccentric droids, and a slave-turned-Jedi-turned-Sith-turned-father sat watching Ewoks dance, Obi-Wan and Yoda appeared. _Yes,_ Obi-Wan thought, _the Force certainly brought them together. Nothing else could have done so._

 _A/N: Well, that's the last of the Reactions! Until a new movie comes out, anyway…Y'know, Rey's parentage reveal might spark another of these…Yeah, it probably will._

 _But, anyway. For now, this is the end. Thanks for tagging along on this wild ride!_


End file.
